In honor of my 24th B’Day next week (YAY ME!), over a week’s time…iJotted down 24 random things.
Here’s the UNEDITED, UNSCRIPTED result:
1. I’m happy with my life. iFinally found a routine that works for me.
2. I love my friends.
3. I’m sitting here watching Degrassi. This Arabian-looking girl reminds me of that chick Anchal from ANTM.
4. I hate when I’m turning around a corner and iBump into somebody. BITCH!! It’s JUST LIKE when you driving your car. WALK on the RIGHT side of the hallway.
5. Men wearing flip flops is gay. I like it.
6.UUUGGGHHHH!!! I can’t ride dick to save my life!! (hold up, I’m lying…if it was life or death I’d RIDE OUT like Kentucky Derby on you hoes!!)
7. I’m really not a good liar (anymore). I told so many lies and got BEAT as a child that now-a-days iSay FUCK IT and keep it real. If I lie now it must be a BIG DEAL or money is involved.
8. How one flop gone coach another flop how to make a hit?? iThink Keith Sweat producing Dru Hill’s new CD is pure fuckery!!
9. This nigga i’m fuckin’ with now sex so good…I’ve had to call in to work bcuz I couldn’t walk the next day!!
10. I just saw a pic of Beyonce with a beer in her hand on vacay in Italy. UGH! That means she STILL ain’t pregnant. And, I said that to say…is America REALLY that eager to see what her child with Jay-Z OF ALL PEOPLE will look like?? #eww #yuck #gross I’m glad she’s taking her time and delaying it!!
11. The Red Door Foundation, an organization that offers services to people living with HIV/AIDS, is having a fund-raising benefit this Friday at the Crowne Plaza downtown at 7pm. I really wanna go. *shops for a red dress shirt online*
12. I want to be in love. Those “relationships” iHad when I first started dating were nice…but I’m ready for a SERIOUS, LONG-TERM commitment. Can that be obtained in the Memphis gay community??
13. iLove walking around my apartment naked. Sometimes iStep out on my balcony nude and let the breeze flow between my cheeks. #dontjudgeme
14. #nowplaying “Commander [Rico Love Remix]” by Kelly Rowland featuring Nelly
15. Bejeweled 2 for iPhone is a God-send. I’d play that game IN MY CASKET at my own funeral! I CAN’T GET ENUF!!
16. I wanted to go back to school this fall BUT Methodist LeBonheur Healthcare (aka my job) fucked that up for me. #thanksfornothing
17. Just because the combat troops are gone DOES NOT mean the battle in Iraq is over. There are STILL soldier’s there.
18. Spelling God with a lower case G is an abomination. It’s in The Bible…in the Ronald Matters edition. Everybody want their own WRITTEN edition of what SOME OTHER MAN said. (OOPS! Better stop before iStart a war.)
19. I’ve only kissed ONE girl in my WHOLE life. It was a peck on the lips ONE TIME in my backyard when I was in elementary.
20. I remember I stole a bike that iFound laying around in the neighborhood that iKept in that same backyard…it got stolen. I’ve never owned another bike.
21. My grandfather and his girlfriend made my mother sleep in that DAMN backyard when she came to visit us for the holidays!! Imagine the 1994 ice storm and sleeping in a cold-ass backyard with ONE fucking blanket. MY mother… your own fuckin’ child! And, people question me about why I HATED my grandfather as I got older. Well, there goes ONE of MANY reasons right there.
22. Child…iNeed to get over that damn backyard. I live in a downtown, high-rise apartment building FAR AWAY and WAY ABOVE that backyard.
23. I’ve only had ONE birthday party. I was turning 10 years old and my FAVORITE Aunt Michelle gave me $10. For some strange reason, I never got to spend that. One Christmas I was given $100. I never got to spend that either. DEATH to parents/guardians who TAKE their children’s money!!
24. I said all that to say my birthday is Monday (Aug. 23) and I am taking donations to my BIRTHDAY FUND!! Click below to donate!!