First, I want to thank the academy for this honor, Beyonce almighty for bestowing ‘Single Ladies’ upon me during my hard times, and Tyler Perry for making me laugh at straight women’s reactions to the mention of HIV in his movies. I also want to thank Archives of Sexual Behavior for giving us this new study darlings.
I’ve been saying this for years to people who ask me about their latest trade piece. But, a new study – “Accurate Identification of a Preference for Insertive Versus Receptive Intercourse from Static Facial Cues of Gay Men” – confirms the face is the number one way to tell if a man is a top or bottom.
In intercourse between men, one of the partners typically assumes the role of an insertive partner (top) while the other assumes a receptive role (bottom). Although some research suggests that the perceptions of potential partners’ sexual roles in gay men’s relationships can affect whether a man will adopt the role of top or bottom during sexual intercourse, it remains unclear whether sexual roles could be perceived accurately by naïve observers.
In Study 1, we found that naïve observers were able to discern men’s sexual roles from photos of their faces with accuracy that was significantly greater than chance guessing. Moreover, in Study 2, we determined that the relationship between men’s perceived and actual sexual roles was mediated by perceived masculinity. Together, these results suggest that people rely on perceptions of characteristics relevant to stereotypical male–female gender roles and heterosexual relationships to accurately infer sexual roles in same-sex relationships.
So all you versatile’s out there… whenever you’re in top mode, airbrush on the mustache, six pack and just serve face like you only fuck off with them gold packs. And on bottom days, use your coconut mango facial scrub, pluck your eyebrows to the Gawds and let your swag say something REALLY pussy. Possibly something like this…