The gay web series ‘Gentlemen of New Jersey‘ has been giving my L-I-F-E- since it’s premiere yesterday (Oct. 27), click here to watch if you missed the episode. But, even during the show’s promo run a lot of people could sense tension between Julius McFly and his husband, his friend/cast mate Terrence McFly, and how others in New Jersey treated him during his time in prison. In the e-mail interview below I asked Julius five questions. This is his unedited response (cause y’all ain’t about to say I’m out here editing folk making them look bad LOL).
Julius, you openly admitted a lot of the ‘Gentlemen of New Jersey’ cast didn’t support you when you went to prison. How could you agree to do this show with them?
Well, it wasn’t that I didn’t hear from my cast members at all, just not as soon, or as much as I would’ve liked. My arrest was in the beginning of August 2011, the 1st person I heard from out of the cast was Isaam, but that wasn’t until like October or November. I think I then heard next from Terrence in mid December, followed by Ibn in perhaps January 2012. I just felt like we were together like everyday/every-other day prior to me getting locked up, you find out your best friend gets arrested (and not for something you had know idea about like a rape/murder), I just expected to hear from my friends sooner.
I was released on parole jail in 2012, we’ve all individually talked about how we felt, and I now understand why it took awhile for me to get a letter from a cast-member or two, but then others were busy being “socialites.” At this point, I’m over it, so when the producer approached us about the project, I thought it would be interesting to give people a birds-eye view into a circle of gay black men, not to say all gay black men interact the same way, but this is OUR reality.
Your interaction with Terrance ‘Style McFly’ Morrison is a big issue this season and I know there’s no way you’re upset about a $10 admission to the club. What’s the root of your issue?
Well, the issue was that when people hear “McFly” they think of me AND Terrance.
Till this day, whenever Terrence is having a party, people text me telling me that they’re coming/ or won’t be able to make it to MY party. That party that you saw us arguing about was in Philadelphia during Penn Relay Weekend which is sort of a “gay pride” for Philly. Isaam and I were getting a hotel, driving down…blah, blah and have been promoting the party diligently to ensure that is was a successful event. I wanted to support my friend’s event; even though it wasn’t my party, or I wasn’t invited to be a co-promoter. One evening, Terrence and I were having drinks and I said “I know I’m on the guest list for the party, right?” and he gave, “Oh…….., ain’t no guest list” and I felt a way about that, hence the conversation you saw when Terrence came over to my apartment. I can afford to pay $10 to get into a party, but if I helped promote the party, and hosted events where I would’ve never thought twice about making sure you got into my event without paying, I would expect the same, but that’s where I’ve come to realize the extent of tumultuous friendship.
When you watched episode 1 and saw Isaam smiling with Terrence then working both of you when filming in the same room about paying to get in the party and saying you should “support”. Did you notice Isaam was playing both sides of the fence?
No, I don’t think Isaam was playing both sides of the fence at all, he is often the mediator in any situation of conflict. When Isaam met with Terrence, I felt like he was just trying to see where Terrence head was in terms of his party, and how he felt about the “McFly Brand”. When Terrance came over, we were both drunk so alcohol came into play with both of our behaviors. As I said, Isaam is a mediator, he felt a way about having to pay also, but suggested we support him anyway, as we did.
In the ‘Gentlemen of New Jersey’ trailer you told your husband, ‘I deleted my Jack’d, Grindr, etc. for this marriage!’ and it upset a lot of people that it was the first thing you referenced. What’s your response to that?
I’m glad you asked that question, in seeing the trailer I cringed myself at that statement, editing is key in reality TV. Deleting my Jack’d and Grindr by know means defines the love that I have for my husband. Before him, I hadn’t been in a relationship in almost 7 years, but when I met him, I thought he was the most beautiful man I’ve ever saw. Whenever I saw, the only thing I could do was smile from ear-to-ear. When we meet, I was extremely vulnerable, I was finding myself after being away for 16 months which may not sound like that long to someone who has served 5 or 10 years, but I most certainly missed a lot. While dating him, I felt like he was the one, I didn’t want to date anymore, I wanted to settle down, move to California and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way a long distance relationship will never work unless the foundation is strong, and with most of dating/getting to know each other was via Facetime, we rushed into marriage too fast. Unfortunately, we are going through a divorce and it hearts my heart that our marriage failed, however I believe it made me a stronger man and will better equip me for my next attempt at love.
Since filming the series what has your relationship been like with the cast?
Well, me and Isaam are roommates, and have been for over 10 years now. We get each other, he knows me better than anyone on this earth. Isaam is like my best friend, stylist, life-coach all in one. Ibn and I are good, sometimes we need a short break from each other, but when we’re together, it’s all love. Terrence and I aren’t currently speaking, our friendship has been weird for the last couple of months, sometimes people grow apart. It’s possible that our friendship has run its course, however ego’s often get in the way. I’d love for us to one day be able to come to a common ground, but I guess we’ll have to wait until the reunion to see if we can come
to some kind of resolve.